


Lo Mein

by superbunny



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics), Teen Titans (Comics)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Tumblr Ask Box Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-18 08:37:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12384684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superbunny/pseuds/superbunny
Summary: From my tumblr: Things said at the dining table (I think. I can’t find the post. I’m so sorry.)Rated T for language and I guess… suggestive themes? It’s about the rating of Kon’s original solo comic, but, y’know, none of that awful stuff. Pre-boot, natch, set a good 3-4 years after we left off, so Tim’s 20 or so because let. him. age.





	Lo Mein

**Author's Note:**

> This is far from my first TimKon fic, but it's the first one I've posted on here. Hope you enjoy it, because it was fun to write.

_“Babe.”_

“Don’t you dare ‘babe’ me right now!”

“But  _babe…”_

Tim blew a garlic noodle away from his face with a huff. “No, Kon! Just– no.” He paused, staring across the kitchen table at his boyfriend, who was making his patented ‘I know I fucked up, but it was kind of awesome' face – a super-powered hybrid of a smirk and a pout genetically engineered by scientists of dubious morals to make Tim’s life  _so damn hard._ “That face doesn’t work on me when you have that blindfold on!”

“You’re lying,” Kon said, matter-of-factly, because it was indeed a matter of fact. Then, horrifically, his smirk-pout grew. “…But, you know, you  _could_ just take this blindfold off and then I could properly work my magic.”

“Why the  _fuck_ would I want to do that!?” 

“Because you sound like HBO’s reboot of  _The Nanny,_ and I know one look into my gorgeous baby blues help you release that tension.”

“I am not letting you look at me. Nope. No way. You did this on purpose.”

“…I’m not admitting to that…” the  _smout_ faltered, then returned in full demonic force. “Come on, it was pretty awesome.”

“I have an entire bowl of spaghetti on my head!”

“Spaghetti that I made with a magic blindfold on and my hands tied with a magic rope. Using only my–”

“Spaghetti that YOU tried to feed to me with your you-know-what, and then ‘ _accidentally_ ’ POURED ALL OVER MY HEAD!”

“That’s not what my voice sounds like! And don’t call it that! It sounds weird!”

Tim remained sitting, arms folded, hair full of noodles. “Oh, your little gimmick? What was the proper name again?” It was Tim’s turn for an evil smirk.

Kon whispered, or more properly, he Kon-whispered, which is really not a whisper by any normal standards, “My… my Tactile Tele-Kinesis™…”

“Five dollars in the jar for doing that with your mouth.”

“You are a terrifyingly evil person and I am afraid of you.”

“You poured spaghetti on my head to force me to take a regular shower.”

“You power-washing your body like a horse is super weird!”

“It’s efficient!”

“It’s freaky!”

“You like freaky!”

“Not like that!” Kon paused. This was a great opportunity for some maturity. “Tim, you could use a regular shower. The tech is impressive, but you’re not a machine.”

“ _Unfortunately,_ ” Tim grumbled.

“Timmy… just take a shower. A ten minute shower, with a loofa and junk.” Kon paused again. “You’re amazing because you’re  _not_ some super-robot.”

“But – my hair’s natural moisture –”

“Dude, your hair is full of garlic butter sauce. That’s not a good leave-in conditioner.”

“Because you put your spaghetti in it!”

“Hey, if you take me out of this bondage gear, I can wash your hair for you. Be your own personal super-stylist.”

“It’s not bondage gear.”

“Wonder Woman gave it to you for our second anniversary, babe.”

“It’s for your training!”

“You know it’s not.”

They sat there in silence for a few minutes. “Fine.”

Tim got up and headed towards the closet where the towels were.

“Um, Timmy?”

“Yes, Conner?”

“Can you please say your magic password and let me out?”

Tim’s little giggle was just as chilling from across the room as it was right next to his head. “Lo mein.”


End file.
